The important role grandparents can play during divorce: Part I ...

One of the most controversial and legally dicey issues in family law is that of grandparents' rights, especially during and after a divorce. Grandparents who have loved and supported their grandchildren for years may suddenly find themselves losing contact when their own adult child goes through a divorce from his or her spouse.

For better or worse, major court rulings in Georgia and at the federal level have largely confirmed that the rights and wishes of parents to make decisions about their children trump those of grandparents. Therefore, grandparents who wish to stay in their grandchildren's lives after a divorce cannot often rely on a legal solution.

In a recent article, licensed psychologist and family therapist Marie Hartwell-Walker urges grandparents to take a more relationship-based approach to help make sure they stay connected with their grandkids during and after their adult child's divorce.

First, Hartwell-Walker urges grandparents to keep up regular contact and usual routines with the grandkids. This sends the message that the grandparent-grandchild relationship doesn't have to change or end just because of the divorce. If one parent is resistant, you may wish to appeal by saying that this stability is good for the children, not just for you.

In order to keep up this regular contact, it is important to position yourself as a neutral party that is there to love and support everyone involved, Hartwell-Walker says. You may be tempted to automatically side with your own adult child during the divorce, but this could quickly become political and compromise your future contact with the grandkids. Instead of taking sides, the best approach is to show that you are helpful and supportive of everyone. You can be a babysitter, a role model, a listening ear and a source of calm during the storm.

Check back tomorrow as we continue our discussion on how grandparents can maintain a loving relationship with their grandkids and everyone else even when their adult children are going through a divorce.

Source: Huffington Post, "Grandparenting Well When Adult Children Divorce," Marie Hartwell-Walker, Aug. 20, 2012

Source: http://www.familyattorneylawrenceville.com/2012/08/the-important-role-grandparents-can-play-during-divorce-part-i.shtml

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